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The English-Australian Accent

Have you ever gotten caught in a lie?

You know; when you lie about something, and then forgot you lied about it so you get caught? I assure you, this is not something I do often… but let me just explain.

Yes, this is a story where I make an ass out of myself. Kinda like these. ones.

Months ago…probably not long after we even got here to NC, Torrance and I were walking brown dog like usual and I was joking around talking to Torrance and Kona in my British/Australian accent (the one I do is horrible and it is a mix between the two because I suck at accents… the origin of this is a whole other story for another day)

Anyway, I was talking to Kona in my accent pretty loudly obnoxiously as we approached a little out-building where our mailbox is.

Unfortunately, there was a short, bald man (I’d say 50ish years old) right on the other side checking his mail too, who peaked around the corner and said hello (since I was making a ruckus I’m sure and he was probably checking to see what the hell was going on)… I was caught off guard and he had obviously heard me ranting in my English-Australian accent so I said –

“GOO’DAY! Ow’ are ya t’day?” while I choked back laughter/deer in headlights look. (I would have died if he was, like, actually English….. or Australian)

So we went on our way and laughed about it when we were far enough away from him and out of earshot.

Well of course in the coming weeks I saw him around our apartment complex all. the. time. Like it was trying to come back and bite me.  I’m talking once a week for a span of about two months.

I always seriously hoped he would never try to strike up a conversation because my fake accent is definitely not good enough to last or be consistent enough to carry on for more than a sentence or two. There were even times I pretended like I was on my cell phone so we didnt have to converse, and I usually acknowledged his hellos or waves with my usual “goo’day!” or my all obnoxious “EL-LO!!” – hey, I stick with what I know.

Well, a couple of months passed and then I saw him wandering around and he said “Hey! How are you?” and yep…. whatdoyaknow… I forgot.

“I’m great how have you been!” (In my American-English accent)

Oh balls.

If only he would have forgotten.

He looked at me funny and said “oh ….uh…for some reason I remembered you being English…”

I know he was just being nice. He really wanted to say “what the F?”

I am rarely at a loss for words. Like, seriously, that may have been the first time ever in the history of Andrea.

“…………….uh.” Haha.

I was caught, bad. Haha, damn. And he was clearly waiting for an explanation.

And the explanation just sounded more ridiculous and I wish I could have just made up another lie… like “my accent went away! because I’ve been here for a while! Look at that!” but obviously that would have been dumb (still not as dumb as I sounded explaining myself though) my explanation basically went like this:

“Okay, well about that, it was kind of funny because I always talk to my dog like that as a joke which started forever ago (lame) and then when I first saw you there I knew you heard me so I didnt feel like explaining why I was talking like that because it would have been akward (like it is now…lame) so then when I saw you again I panicked and didnt know what to do so I continued on… and then just now, I forgot (lamest)..” hahaha [awkward nervous laugh and silence]

And thankfully he just said:

“Ah, it’s ok. I probably would have done the same thing! You had me fooled with your accent.” (he was most definitely being nice again).

Remind me, why do these things happen to me again?

————————————–

  • If this were you, would you have kept it going or fessed up sooner?
  • Do you get nervous when you’re put on the spot or do you think you react pretty quickly?
    I react really quickly which is not always a good thing (obviously)… if I would have taken time to think for a second I wouldnt have just went with “Oh the best thing is probably just keep pretending like you have accent and say something” haha.
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15 Comments Post a comment
  1. HAHAHA omg this post made my morning…TOO funny!! i prob wouldve kept it going like you bc I wouldnt feel like explaining myself…i actually never react very quickly, i’m awkward, delayed and spacey most of the time!!

    April 25, 2012
  2. Ha! That’s hilarious. I totally would’ve confessed too! I’m only good at lying if I’m afraid I’m going to get “in trouble” fo rsomething. Such a baby. Lol. Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

    April 25, 2012
  3. LMAO. That’s funny! I have no idea what I would have done in the situation but we all do crazy things when we’re caught off guard and don’t want to be embarrassed. 🙂

    April 25, 2012
  4. Ahahaaha this was is brilliant and the post just made my morning 🙂 I would have tired to keep it going too lol

    April 25, 2012
  5. Bahahahaha – this made my day! I have to tell you that I have a similar story. My mom and I went on a weekend trip to Nashville when I was in college, and I decided to talk in a British accent the entire time (no idea why). A couple came up to us at dinner because they had overheard my obnoxious accent and asked why one of us had an accent and the other one didn’t (it’s very obvious that we are mother-daughter – we look just alike) and I quickly replied that she had me when she was only 17 so decided it would be better to send me to a boarding school with my “grandmum” in England. I had quite the elaborate story by the end of our conversation. They totally bought it (and my mom was so proud of having a child at 17 lol) and they even bought us dessert since we were being “reunited” for Christmas. A waiter overheard and bought us breakfast for the next morning. It was awesome! 🙂

    April 25, 2012
  6. There are no words. This is absolutely hilarious.

    When I was in high school, one of my girl friends and I often went on vacation together (my mom would bring her along with us, or I’d go with her family). We would often lie about our age (like we were 14, and we’d say we were 17) and we’d also lie about other goofy things. We would often pretend we were French and speak French to each other. But this was, like, 10 grade French. And my accent was HORRIBLE. I mean, horrible. I’m pretty sure the only people who believed us were the 6-year olds standing behind us in line for Space Mountain. 😛

    April 25, 2012
  7. om gosh I was dying reading this. Hysterical. It’s even funnier b/c we love to talk in British accents at our house all the time. I never really thought about what if we did it in front of other people! One time we were at a dinner with an actual British person and Paul’s daughter heard her talking and looked at her all amazed like “WOW!! A person who REALLY talks like that!!!” and then proceeded to talk in her fake British accent to her. SO EMBARRASSING! LOL.

    April 25, 2012
  8. StoriesAndSweetPotatoes #

    That is TOO FUNNY! You should’ve told him you already lost your accent living here 🙂

    April 25, 2012
  9. I am DYING right now!!! This story is the best thing I have ever heard! The pictures of Kona and her feelings about her embarrassment make it even better!! This sounds like something I would totally do!

    April 25, 2012
  10. ittybitsofbalance #

    HAHAHA! Oh my goodness, Andrea– that is priceless! That totally sounds like something that would happen to me too (And Popcorn would be saying the same thing Kona is! haha!)

    April 26, 2012
  11. I love everything about this!

    April 30, 2012

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