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7 Days of Blah Food (AKA Detox Time)

I was a grumpy bitch yesterday.

I finally caved and am doing this stupid food detox thing my trainer has been trying to get me to do for months.

Okay, I know that sounds really negative and you again going to ask “why are you doing it if you hate it so much” but its one of those things where I am a big baby and it’s not really that big of a deal now I realize.

My trainer has been trying to get me to do this to help sort of kickstart my metabolism again and get my eating cleaned up after the disastrous holidays. I have been fighting him because it sounded so …. blah – and I like variety. But, after hearing other people that I train with do it and say they felt better afterwards and that it helped get them back on track, etc. I decided that I trust my trainer and that I really do need that right now – to get back on track after the holidays and all. Not that my eating has been horrible, but because I ate crap… I have been craving crap.

Anyway, it really isnt that big of a deal, its not like I’m deprived, or have to drink a horrible tasting juice or anything like 3x a day. Nope. It’s actually not a lot to ask.

Before I get into it here is the boring disclaimer: I am not an expert, everything expressed here is not meant to be advice and is simply an account from my own experience that was overseen by a professional. So bottom line, if you think I am an expert, get a clue.

Okay, so now that that is out of the way – here is the gyst (AKA stupid “rules”):

  • 7 days long (I now refer to it as the 7 days of blah food)
  • Have a high fiber cereal for breakfast
  • 4x a day have a small “meal” consisting of chicken, part of a sweet potato, and a green veggie.
  • Can use whatever spices/etc needed. Obviously sauces and heavy stuff is off limits. I am also happy that I can use balsamic vinegar.
  • Drink nothing but water

This is how it really is going (I am on day 4 now):

  • 7 days? aaaahhh….maybe on the 5th day I will be done? (ha!) I feel better already… really.
  • The cereal for breakfast isnt an issue. I thought I’d get bored with it but I got 2 different types to “switch it up.” Dont get me wrong – I cant wait to eat eggs for breakfast again though. I also eat a small bowl of cereal right before bed, after my last “meal,” it makes me feel like I am having a treat or something (pathetic).
  • 4x a day? More like 3x a day for me. Even though I usually snack all day long, it is almost inconvenient to eat “meal” style food 4x a day (even though I am prepping ahead of time. Plus, I dont want to choke down a sweet potato more than I have to. I guess my mini bowl of cereal at night kind of makes up for that 4th meal, right? Deal. sweet

(Cereal, chicken, broccoli, and a sweet potato ready to go for my
breakfast and 2 “lunches” at work. And I brought naughty fruit
incase I felt like
I was going to starve)

  • I. am. so. sick. of. sweet. potatoes. its. not. even. funny. Seriously. I like sweet potatoes, but damn. I have to like choke it down at this point. I have considered buying all the sweet potatoes at the local grocery stores and going to my trainers house and throwing them at it. Also, one cant help but wonder – while eating multiple servings of sweet potatoes a day, when should one begin to worry about the possibility of turning orange? Anyway, I have replaced the sweet potato with black beans a couple  times. Why not, black beans seem like a healthy starch? I know its not the same, but whatever.
  • The green veggie thing isnt bad. I rotate between fresh spinach (that I eat with balsamic vinegar), broccoli, asparagus, and green beans. This one has actually been sort of refreshing for me because I rarely eat green veggies during the day (mostly just at dinner) so that has been a plus.
  • I am shockingly not completely sick of chicken (yet). There are so many different ways you can cook it, and I season it differently. I have even resorted into cutting into different shapes to keep things interesting (not kidding).

fish (I know… worst looking “fish” ever)

  • For seasonings, it is almost making me be creative – I use lemon juice (from a fresh lemon), balsamic, garlic, fresh thyme/oregano/etc. a lot more than I did before I think. That aint half bad.
  • Drinking nothing but water – this is easy. I pretty much only drink water anyway. Well, besides wine. I do miss wine. But maybe it is good for me for a week? (only kidding, no wine for a week is no joking matter).

I also cheated and had fish one night – salmon to be specific. And I have also had precisely 2 squares of Dove dark chocolate, and a whole grain waffle with peanut butter one day before my workout, and an orange one day.

This shit is not easy.

Now here are my observations 4 days in:

Day 1, I was all like: This is gonna be awesome! I will be all detoxed and stuff and get my eating on track again! Eating a sweet potato everyday is gonna suck, but I can totally do this.

and then Day 2 was more like: I kind of feel like crap. Is that all the bad toxin stuff and Christmas cookies leaving my body? Who knows, but (barf). Also, reading blogs and looking at Instagram is awful. I am so jealous of everyone’s food. It is like forbidden… like I’m looking at porn or something. (Also, Pinterest is obviously off limits this week). I hope I can make it through this detox the full 7 days. I’m also surprised I havent been craving a ton of stuff….

but then, Day 3 rolled around…: I want CHEESE. And bread. I could eat a whole effing baguette right now and down a bottle of wine and have a winey-baguettey sponge in my stomach and not even care. And FRUIT. God I want a BANANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And now, here I am on day 4: I still want a banana. I’m surprised this has helped curb my cravings majorly (which was one of the main goals– to get my eating back on track). I’m not craving sweets anymore. Also… it has definitely helped clean some stuff out because my digestive tract has been….crazy. But overall I am actually not feeling half bad. I havent lost any weight like other people said they did (well, I lost 2 lbs – but I fluctuate that much daily anyway …and losing immediate weight wasnt the focus of this). I wonder if I will make it another day…..


See? It isnt horrible. Last night I almost cracked and made a sandwich for dinner though. But I didnt, I had a stupid chicken-sweet potato-spinach dinner instead.

I do feel better though. After my 7 days are up (or maybe 5? haha) I can start eating things like fruit and eggs on the regular again and will ease back into eating normal stuff again.

You would think that after a week (or 5 days) of sticking there you would want to devour a whole cake, but you kind of get this feeling of pride/feeling that you put in so much hard work to get through the torture that you dont want to just go sabotage it with cake….or at least not right away anyway.

I do plan to eat some pizza though (veggie) at least a slice….

pizza Droooooool.

I almost feel like I have a bit of a second wind. Now that I am actually feeling better and am realizing some benefits of it I sort of feel like “yeah I can do this for a whole 7 days (or at least 5)!” (…..if I can eat another orange. And blackbeans. And salmon…?)

Oh, and in case you are wondering – I was honest and did tell my trainer I cheated and ate naughty things like black beans, chocolate, and an orange. He rolled his eyes at me and gave me the lecture about how I really need to stay on track…. yada, yada. Like a child being scolded.


Have a great day!

  • What is a food that you feel like you could eat at every meal for a week? What about a food that you like/love but wouldnt want to eat at every meal?
  • What is a reason you have done/would do a food detox? (lose weight, jumpstart your metabolism, curb cravings, get on track, etc)
7 Comments Post a comment
  1. yeah I think if I ever did anything like this I would HAVE to stay home, not turn on the tv,not get on FB or Instagram or anything online at all. It would be pretty tortuous! Good luck to you…I hope you make it! LOL.

    January 23, 2013
    • haha yeah that would be the best bet. it is hard! the grocery store is bad too. it makes you want EVERYTHING even if it isnt stuff you really even like.

      January 23, 2013
  2. If there was a funniest blogger award out there, I would totally nominate you for it.

    January 23, 2013
  3. That sounds tough. I’ve not done that kind of detox, but I tried to cut out added sugar for a month. Pretty difficult as well.

    January 24, 2013
    • That would be hard because when you actually think/look at stuff almost everything has added sugar! I have tried to limit mine before.

      January 24, 2013
  4. I think I could eat peanut butter for every meal for a week. That’s probably about it. 😉

    January 24, 2013

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